The Story of Us
by sburke94
Summary: Episode 1x18 What if Aria had gone to Ezra's apartment that night to end things rather than fix them?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know I usually do this at the end, but it seemed more appropriate to put it at the beginning in this story. The idea for this little fic has been bothering me since episode 1x18. What if Aria had gone to his apartment to end things rather than to fix them? I feel like I need one more chapter to tie things up—but no more than that. This song is based loosely of Taylor Swift's Song **_**The Story of Us. **_** Listen to it-it'll make everything tie together nicely and the next chapter is when the lyrics really come into play.**

* * *

_Because they may not be linked._ Six little words had never cut so deeply. Ezra's pessimism after everything we'd been through was a bitter pill to swallow. We'd come so far in the two months since Hanna's accident. To dismiss a future together so easily was to dismiss every time we'd said _I love you. _However, the anger I felt towards him was little compared to the deep ache that settled in the pit of my stomach. And somehow, the second cut was the deepest.

Yet even so I refused to resign myself to grungy sweats and gallons of chunky monkey. This time around things would be different; they had to be. That evening, as the three of us lay together in Emily's bedroom I allowed myself the only tears I would ever shed over him. Spencer and Emily were supportive and in many ways I was grateful they'd found out about Ezra and I. Being able to spill my guys was far easier than trying to keep everything inside.

"What exactly did he say? I mean-are you sure things are over between the two of you?" Emily brushed damp strands of hair back from my cheek and handed me a tissue. My cell phone buzzed where it lay on the bed, but I didn't pick it up.

Spencer reached over to see who it was and groaned. "It's him—again." I sank lower onto the pillows; that was the sixth time he'd called in the past hour.

"I don't know what happened. One drink with my father and suddenly I'm leaving him for California. It just-I can't make sense of it. But you know something guys? Maybe this is for the best…and this time I'm going to be the one to end it. I can't let him break me again." I sniffled heavily and Spencer handed me another tissue. "I can't."

"Sweetie, I understand you're upset-but are you sure about this? There's just this spark between you two and I can't place it…something tells me that what you two have is rare."

I tossed the used tissues aside and wiped away smeared mascara with one fingertip. "Not helping Spence."

She sighed heavily and cleared the empty pizza box off the bed. "I'm sorry. I just think you should talk to him before you call it quits."

I shook my head in disbelief at her. "I don't want to talk to him, Spencer! I just-" Another sob escaped me and I curled my knees up to my chest.

"Spencer's right, Aria. You're going to hate me for saying this but I think you need to tell him how you feel-even if it is only to end things."

As my tears began to dry anger took the place of my despair. "Fine! Hand me my phone…I'll call him right now."

"In person Aria." Emily took my phone off the bed and tossed it over onto her nightstand.

"Guys, I can't."

The looked at me doubtfully. Emily was the first to speak. "You can and you will. Go take a shower and then you can borrow my car. "

I shook my head. "No…absolutely not. It's already close to one."

"Well, clearly he's still awake. And I'm serious about the shower before you go-you look like…what did Hanna call you the other day?"

A small giggle escaped me and Spencer smiled. "A strung out power puff girl."

"Yeah…you look worse than that right now. Now go!" The two of them shoved me playfully off the bed and towards the bathroom. "And don't stall-or we'll come in after you."

* * *

Half an hour later I stood outside his apartment, arms wrapped tightly around myself as I debated if I was going to go through with it. Every touch, every kiss, every word we'd ever shared flashed across my mind and I struggled to reconcile what I needed to do with what I wanted. For the first time in our entire relationship logic won out over my heart. With a deep breath and hands trembling I knocked on his door.

He opened it almost immediately, the relief on his face making what I was about to say even harder to get out.

"Hey, I've been leaving you messages."

"I know. I've been avoiding you." He moved aside and let me into the apartment.

"Aria, I'm-"

"No. Don't—don't apologize. I just need you to listen and let me get this out."

The door shut quietly with a soft click and he moved to stand before me. "Alright."

My fingers itched to touch him, to smooth the crease from between his brows and kiss away the pained expression he was wearing. But I didn't—I couldn't.

"Ezra, we can't do this anymore—I can't do this anymore." I exhaled a shuddery breath and smiled forlornly at him. "I love you so much that it hurts, but this up and down that we're always on, the uncertainty, the risk, it just isn't worth it if-"

"Aria, please…"

Tears stung my eyes but I blinked them away rapidly. Not here. Not in front of him. "I think it's best if we-" My eyes flickered closed from the pain of what I was about to say. "It's over. I feel like I'm always barely holding us together. Ezra, I can't fix this."

I'd done it. Strangely, the sense of accomplishment I'd been hoping for didn't come. Instead, I felt hollow. Somehow I was sure I'd given up the only thing that'd ever made me completely happy.

He stared at me brokenly for a few minutes, his eyes as glassy as mine. "Aria, you don't mean that. I was an idiot for what I said earlier. Please." He caught my hands within his own and tugged me closer. "I know that things aren't always easy between us, but what we have—we can't just give it up."

"I already have." Pulling away from his grasp, I reached up and drew a hand gently down the side of his face.

How he moved so fast I'll never know, but in seconds I was caught tightly in his embrace, kissing him as if my life depended on it. Suddenly I wanted to erase everything I'd just said and stay the night with him, but I wouldn't—I couldn't.

Breaking away softly, I smoothed an unruly curl back from his forehead, allowing myself one final moment with him.

"I love you." His voice was rough and the words were more of a plea than a statement. "Don't do this."

I shook my head and brushed a wayward tear from my cheek. "I have to." With a pained breath I pulled away from him completely and headed towards the door.

"Aria…" His voice cracked and I fought the urge to turn back to him.

"Goodbye, Ezra." Tears blurring my vision, I fled the apartment, the echo of my heels on the stairwell the only sounds in the dark night.


	2. Chapter 2

The first few days following our break up were the worst. Emily stepped up as stage manager for the play, saving me the pain of having to work with him for hours every day. However, I couldn't escape his pained gaze and distraught glances completely. English became my own form of personal hell. What had once been a place of warmth and enjoyment, a place where I could stare openly at him and converse freely about our shared love of literature, had become a prison. I was the last to arrive and the first to leave each day. My hand was never raised. My papers never went above the bare minimum needed to scrape by. My eyes never lifted from my desk unless it was absolutely necessary. All in all it was just an existence-nothing more, nothing less.

Spencer, Emily, and Hanna were supportive, although I was fairly certain deep down they thought I'd made a mistake. And perhaps in some ways I had. What-ifs plagued me; what if I'd let him have a say, what if I'd over reacted? The thing about what-ifs though, is that there's never an answer. So, I shuttered my doubts beneath a guise of cheerfulness, throwing myself full time into schoolwork and my family.

And amazingly enough as the weeks passed it began to work. English was still hell. Every time Ezra would walk past my desk, or hand back a paper I'd forget how to breathe. Then there were the times when he'd force me to talk to him, asking me a direct question or requesting that I stay after class. But I didn't stay—I couldn't, for I knew if I did the wall I was carefully crafting to keep him out would come crumbling down. But for the most part I was healing. My smiles became genuine again. Life, after English class, was easy and for the most part carefree. "A" had even stopped harassing me, a blessing which unfortunately she hadn't bestowed upon the other girls.

By the time opening night of _The Bad Seed _rolled aroundI was so confident in my ability to control the constant ache in my heart that I agreed not only to attend the performance, but also to partake in the celebratory opening night party afterwards. Along with the rest of Rosewood, I dressed for the occasion. Straying from my usual black lace and tulle, I opted for a crimson number with a criss-crossed front and lightly flaring skirt. The hue of the dress was striking, but didn't stand out amongst the colorful crowd.

The play was marvelous and went off without any errors, save a microphone glitch in the middle of act two. Spencer was perfect and as terrible as it sounded, Hanna was born for the role of drunken mother. And although Emily wasn't on stage, the easy flow of the scenes could only be accredited to her flawless organization.

When the final bows were over and the curtain dropped, I was on my feet applauding as loudly as the rest of Rosewood. It truly had been wonderful. And then, just out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed Ezra coming down the side staircase of the stage and my heart plummeted. Suddenly the after party didn't seem like such a great idea. I tore my eyes away from him and followed the rest of the audience out of the theatre and into the cafeteria where the party was being held.

I'd managed to shake my gloomy attitude by the time Spencer and the others arrived, fresh off the stage with the costumes still on.

"Spencer, I must say that the grandma thing is a good look for you." She laughed and took off the apron she was wearing.

"Yeah, well you're not looking too bad yourself."

I did a little twirl. "Do you guys really like it? I know it's not my usual but-"

"Aria you look fantastic…" Hanna paused mid-sentence and glanced over my shoulder. "And someone else seems to think so to."

I shouldn't have looked, but I did. Ezra was standing just a few feet away talking to Spencer's father, yet he was staring at me. Our gazes met for just the briefest of moments and my stomach twisted into painful knots. Why was this so hard?

Suddenly the room was too hot. There were too many people. There was him. I needed to get away and get away fast. Tearing my gaze from him, I turned back to Emily who was muttering something about needing to get her camera out of the drama room.

"I'll be right back guys, I just need to get my camera. Can you…"

I cut her off. "I'll get it. I need to get some fresh air anyway. It's really hot in here."

The three of them looked at me skeptically. "It's freezing in here, Aria. What are you talking about?"

Spencer shot Hanna her classic _you need to back off _glare. "It's on the desk near the window. We'll be right here when you get back."

I fled the room, trying my best to ignore the way Ezra's eyes followed my every movement. The classroom was dark and empty, with no sign of the lively place it'd been just hours before the performance. The blackness seemed fitting to my mood though, and with a heavy sigh I sank into one of the chairs.

Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn't this breakup be like every other one I'd ever had—the kind where there's the awkward stage and then the eventual return to tentative friendship? Somehow I knew Ezra and I would never have that—we couldn't have that.

But I wanted it. I wanted it more than anything. Honesty had never been a strong suit of mine, but at this point I had to admit to myself that what I missed most, what I needed most was him. The old saying "you never know how good you have it until it's gone" seemed to be the perfect summary for how I felt. I hadn't just lost a lover when I ended things; I'd lost my best friend. And the knowledge that I'd been the one to get myself in this situation stung more than anything else.

I slumped farther into the chair and brushed a few tears from my eyes, doing my best to keep my mascara from smearing. Coming tonight had been a mistake—ignoring him was impossible. Outside, the moon was full and high, its eerie glow casting garish shadows upon the walls of the classroom. I shivered involuntarily and stood from the chair. I couldn't help but flashback to the night of homecoming and the terrible events that had occurred when Emily had wandered off from the rest of us.

I was just reaching for her camera when the sound of heavy footsteps entering the room caught my attention. I whirled towards the noise, my heart thundering wildly and my breath catching in my throat. Much to my relief—for the immediate moment anyway—it was only Ezra. The rapid beat of my heart subsided slowly, though my pulse was still racing.

"You scared me."

His warm gaze met mine for a brief instant before he turned and shut the door to the classroom. "I'm sorry."

It was a loaded statement and I instinctively knew he was referring to far more than his arrival.

I nodded in acknowledgement of his apology and shifted uncomfortably, rocking back and forth on my heels. "I should—I should get back to the party, Emily's going to wonder where her camera is." Taking the camera in hand, I started towards the door; my path arcing wide to avoid him.

"Aria, wait."

I sighed heavily and my hand fell from the doorknob.

"Can we just talk? It won't take long, I promise."

"Ezra…"

"Please."

My eyes flickered closed for the briefest of moments, the note of desperation in his voice piercing my heart. "Sure." I set the camera down on the nearest desk before turning to face him.

He crossed the room to stand before me, pausing only a few feet away.

I wrapped my arms tightly around my middle, mostly out of habit, but also because I felt like I needed to hold myself together—both literally and mentally.

"Are you cold? Here, take my jacket…"

"I'm not-" But it was too late, he'd already shrugged the suit coat off and draped it around my shoulders. The smell of his cologne enveloped me, both comforting and arousing at the same time. The fabric was warm, and I sighed softly. "Thank you."

He gave a half smile—tentative, and so unlike his usual grin. Until that moment I don't think I'd fully realized how deeply I'd hurt him. For weeks Emily, Spencer, and Hanna had made remarks about how distant he'd seemed, how his gaze would fall on me in class and there'd be an expression of absolute despair on his face. I'd brushed them off—I hadn't noticed- but then again, I hadn't really been looking.

"The play was fantastic." It was the best I could come up with, and it seemed safe enough territory that I'd be able to keep myself in check.

"It was wasn't it? Spencer was phenomenal."

I nodded. "She was. Mona surprised me too." I smiled gently and gave a little giggle. "I didn't know she had it in her."

There it was again—that partial smile. "She was pretty good, wasn't she?"

"And Hanna…"

He took a few steps towards me, his mouth set in a sad, thin line. "Aria, I didn't come to talk about the play."

I bit my lip nervously and glanced away from him. "I know."

"I miss you."

"Ezra, I…"

"No, you got to talk last time. It's my turn." I'd never really heard him angry—upset yes- but never angry. "I miss you, Aria—so much. So much that I can't think of anything else. And it doesn't matter what I do or where I go—you're there. In the classroom, at my apartment—everything reminds me of you."

"Ezra…"

"Let me finish."

I nodded slid my arms into the coat.

"Don't you see that this is hurting both of us? I'm miserable, you're miserable—nothing good has come of this. This charade we're playing at is foolish—I think we both know that. And I was an idiot for saying what I did. There's no future if we're not together, Aria. There's not." He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "So can we just—can we give us another shot?"

I'd listen to his speech in silence, tears welling in my eyes as he spoke. We had both been fools—great fools-I, for thinking that ending things would solve our problems, and he for constantly trying to talk himself out of the relationship.

"Please, Aria." He opened his arms and I flew into them with a sob, his name a broken whisper on my lips.

"I'm so sorry, Ezra. I thought if we…"

"Hush."

"But…" He kissed me then, his lips closing over mine roughly. I gasped into the kiss, my fingers threading through his hair, tugging him closer to me.

"I love you, Aria." He swept a curly lock of hair from my shoulder and rested his forehead against mine gently.

"I love you too, Ezra." My arms wrapped snuggly around his middle and my head rested just above his heart.

"Can you come over tonight?"

I pulled away from him and nodded. "Ummm—sure. I rode with Hanna so I'll..."

"You can ride with me."

My eyes widened. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Probably not, but we're pretty good at being sneaky." Finally, the grin I'd missed so dearly curved on his lips.

"We are, aren't we? Alright, well I need to take the camera to Emily first, and tell Hanna I found another way home."

He nodded and opened the door for me. "See you in ten minutes?"

I smiled and stepped out into the darkened hallway.

"Oh, Aria?"

"Yes?"

He chuckled lightly and tucked a wayward curl behind my ear. "You probably shouldn't wear my jacket back out there."

"Right, I'm sorry. Here…" I slid it off my shoulders and handed it back to him. "Ten minutes."

He smiled warmly. "Ten minutes."

I turned to go, but he caught my hand again.

"You look beautiful tonight."

**A.N: Check out my new blog for links to all of my writing! Link on profile **

I blushed and smiled shyly before heading down the hallway again, the click of my heels on the cold tile the only sound in the still night.


End file.
